FR#7: How to Quit People Pleasing, Performing and Being a Victim, Cause Nobody Has it All Together with Candace Oliver
Model, entrepreneur, and mother of 4, Candace Oliver, shares how she dumped her victim mindset after losing the business she built for 11 years and then started fresh by launching her personal brand.
She dives deep into overcoming people-pleasing, performing and perfectionism while building a business in the beauty industry.
Candace is a dear friend to me and my wife, Shannon. She’s one of those people who makes you wonder, “How does she do it all?” And she’s the first to tell you that she’s just figuring it all out as she goes, just like everybody else.
She’s built six-figure businesses, modeled around the world, is a mentor and coach, a professional makeup and beauty stylist, and is as genuine as they come.
She’s on a mission to pull back the curtain and bring authenticity to a superficial industry, and to empower women to women to find their JOY + look beautiful doing it. MIND. BODY. And SPIRIT.
Key Takeaways:
3:30 - Candace’s heart for helping people find their true identity
4:45 - How does Candace balance everything without losing her head?
5:35 - Why saying yes to one thing means saying No to something else
7:55 - Anxiety or depression means you’re not centered. You need to reevaluate where you’re placing your identity.
8:43 - Why people pleasers are liars
9:13 - It’s OK to say NO.
Quote: “If everybody agrees with what you’re doing, you might not be on the right path."
9:50 - How do you stop being a people pleaser?
12:10 - Candace’s experience losing her business she built for 14 years. Overcoming disappointment and starting fresh.
13:58 - Why it’s important to have people who will help y ordeal with things in a healthy manner instead of being in isolation or denial.
15:30 - How to find meaning in everything and to not identify with our failures
16:58 - What if you lose what you built and wonder, “Do I even have what it takes to do this again?"
19:35 - Overcoming victim mentality
23:15 - We are in control of the decisions we make. Taking FULL ownership of your life, even when you can’t control your circumstances.
25:40 - How Candace is starting fresh and launching her new brand
27:10 - How being a model for 24 years has given Candace a passion for breathing life into women’s self worth and value.
30:50 - We are whole beings: Mind, Body, and Spirit.
34:35 - Specific fears that Candace faces on a regular basis, and how she overcomes them.
37:40 - How do you deal with feeling behind? Giving yourself credit and controlling what you can control.
41:10 - Getting in the habit of celebrating yourself to build your muscle of self-belief.
44:48 - Who is inspiring Candace right now?
46:10 - Candace’s favorite books/podcasts right now.
49:00 - What you can find on Candace’s Youtube channel
51:43 - Candace’s definition of a Frontrunner.