A Guide to Selling For Those Who Hate Sales - PART 2

This is Part 2 of a 2-part series. Get caught up and read Part 1 HERE.

"I have a hard time with the next step after the introduction, of actually getting customers registered/buying product, or inviting them to an event that will better introduce them to my business… When it comes down to business, following up, and building it financially. . . I CLAM UP."

What is the underlying fear that keeps us from asking people to take the next (and most critical) step of actually doing business with us?

Fear of Rejection - We don’t follow up because we are too afraid hearing, “NO”.

There’s many theories as to where we got the idea that to be successful means that you never miss a shot, never lose a sale, and win everyone over to your way of thinking. This is totally FALSE.

Perhaps it’s because we are so used to seeing everyone’s highlight reel and never the behind-the-scenes.

Did you know that Mark Ruffalo (The Hulk in Avengers) didn’t get his big break in acting until he had done over 600 auditions?

That’s SIX HUNDRED “No/you’re not right for us/we’re going in a different direction” responses.

Mark didn’t become famous because he looks like a leading man, is charismatic, or smarter than anybody else. He’s just a regular, introverted, soft-spoken guy. He just worked harder than everybody else and taught himself that each “NO” put him one step closer to a “YES”. And one big “YES” is all it takes.


Your product/business isn’t for everyone. And it shouldn’t be.

If it was for everyone, it wouldn’t help anyone. – Quite possibly the only product that is for everyone is water… or perhaps toilet paper. You shouldn't have too hard of a time convincing someone to buy toilet paper. Why? Because it’s essential.

Most products aren’t an essential in life, so we have to be convinced to buy them. – Even toilet paper get’s sold to us; there’s like 50 varieties. –Most products are an addition to make the quality of your life better. That’s why people buy them: because they will improve their life. I can’t imagine how or why a product that is bad for people would sell well without some kind of addictive hook or huge deception, like cigarettes.

MY POINT: Selling doesn't mean you have to force people to do something they don't want to. 

If you’re a person who cares about people, and you’re going into business because you believe that your business can make someone’s life better, probably because it made YOUR life better, then it’s essential that you can sell to someone. It’s essential that you can communicate to someone why this is GOOD. Knowing the value of your business gives you ground to stand on when people question, “Do I really need this?"

When someone is skeptical about your business, product, or price, your response should not be, “You’re right. Never mind.”, unless you actually agree with them that it’s not worth it.

Skepticism is an invitation to share true value with someone.  

People want to be shown why something is valuable. Selling is the bridge that CONNECTS people with value.

STOP agreeing with the Criticisms people make that you don’t agree with.

  • If they say that what you’re selling is too expensive, but you believe that it is worth every penny, then explain to them WHY it’s worth every penny.
  • If they say that your business is a scam and you believe it is good, then defend it and share with them why it is good.
  • If they say that your product is bad for people but you know that it is good for people, then defend it based on the truth of what you know.

And don’t defend out of offense. Remember, you’re not taking this personally – it’s not about you, it’s about them.

Defend your business with confidence and compassion.

Have confidence in yourself and your product/service, and compassion for the person because you know that you are trying to help them.

THAT is called SELLING.

Selling is not lying. Selling is sharing with people WHY something is good for them, HOW their life will be better because of it, and WHY it’s a good investment for them, then letting them choose between staying the same where they’re at, or choosing the preferred future.

Remember: Your business isn’t for everyone, but it is for SOMEONE.

Your job isn’t to force every person to fit your business, it’s to seek out those who do, and then guide them through the process.


Getting over the fear of talking about money

Until you get comfortable talking about money, you will never be able to ask for it.

And instead of being offended by those who talk about money, you should avoid those who don’t.

You can’t learn anything about making money from those who don’t have any, especially those who are stingy.

Stop letting people who have no financial credibility dictate how you feel about your business.

Some of the people who will shoot you down the most are buried in debt, have never owned a business, have never experienced success in business, have never sold anything, have never stuck with a commitment, and can’t pay their bills.

Don’t look to them to validate your or your business’ worth. It’s easy to criticize from the sidelines when you don’t have any skin in the game. Ignore these people when it comes to business and money.

Take pride in yourself because YOU are the one who is actually taking the scary steps and going for it!

Here’s an excerpt from “Be Obsessed or Be Average” by Grant Cardone:

"It’s not true that it takes money to make money. The truth is that it takes COURAGE to make money.
80 percent of all millionaires today are first-generation millionaires. They didn’t inherit their money or start with money. You have to be courageous to connect with new customers, get more attention, and dominate your customers so that they can think of no one else.
Making money, keeping money, and then multiplying money requires a monster commitment, dedication, and an obsession with growth. If you work for someone else, take responsibility for growing the company, not just earning a paycheck. That will stack the deck for both your employer and you. Don’t be a mere spectator when it comes to making money. Be sure you are on the field trying to score.
There is so much money on this planet it is mind-boggling, yet most people have next to none. Most people don’t have money because they believe there is a shortage of money, or they believe they don’t deserve it or that it’s hard to get.
I take the attitude that money is everywhere. Everyone has money, and if they are treated right and provided with what they asked for (and more than that), they will happily give me their money."


Try This Exercise: 

Say a large amount of money out loud, like “Five Thousand Dollars”.

Or whatever number seems large to you. For some this might be $100, for others it might be $20,000. Either way, choose a number that is big but still feels realistic. (Don’t be Dr. Evil and say, “One BILLION Dollars!”)

How do you feel when you say that number? Uncomfortable? Awkward?

If you want to challenge yourself even more, look at yourself in the mirror and ask for that amount: 

“This option costs five thousand dollars. How does that sound to you?”

This exercise is meant to get you to expose your feelings when you talk about money. 

Often we only talk about large sums of money when we are talking about buying a car or a house or college loans, not in our business or our everyday life.

This is why we are uncomfortable talking about money: Because its UNFAMILIAR to us.


I didn’t grow up with a lot of money, so at the beginning of my design career I sold myself short BADLY and OFTEN.

I didn’t know what my value was, and I didn’t know what kind of value I was producing for my clients, so I would just pull a number out of the air that felt comfortable. 

You will only start making the kind of money you want to make when you become comfortable talking about amounts of money that are uncomfortable to talk about.

It sounds counterintuitive, but the reality is that if you want to make more, you have to stretch your comfort zone and believe that you can actually make that kind of money.

You will never make a $10,000 sale if the first time the words “Ten Thousand Dollars” passes your lips is when you’re pitching to your customer. You will be uncertain, uncomfortable, and unconfident, and they will notice.

To become comfortable talking about and asking for large amounts of money, one of the biggest keys is to actually BELIEVE that what you’re selling is WORTH that amount.

You self sabotage because you subconsciously don’t believe that your product/service/offer is worth what you’re asking for. - So you feel like a shyster, a crook, and a scammer because you don’t believe in what you’re doing.

Your comfort with money will grow as you take these steps forward.: 

  1. Solidify your belief in what you’re selling so that when someone asks why it costs what it does, you can actually tell them with conviction. THEY will believe in the value if YOU believe in the value.
  2. You have to challenge yourself to stretch your worth. If you want to make more, you have to become more valuable. (Ex: “I want to make $10,000/month. How can I make what I’m providing WORTH that amount?”) And you can grow your worth by investing in yourself and making yourself more valuable: new skills, new knowledge, new experience. 

We get sold to all the time. Every day. We Just don’t always notice it.

Good selling results in the customer being happier. Bad selling doesn’t.

However we just only seem to really remember the bad selling experiences we’ve had. And chances are, in those situations, we didn’t end up buying, which means that person or advertisement wasn’t good at selling.

Instead of focusing on the bad experiences we’ve had being sold to, we have to look at the good experiences we’ve had in order to learn how to sell well. 

Take a look around your house. Look at the items you have and the products you’ve bought. Think about your favorite things that you use every day:

Phone, shoes, clothes, brands of food, your car, books, television, etc. Look at the events you go to, the places you visit, the experiences you’ve paid for: restaurants, concerts, movies, gyms, grocery stores, clubs, workshops, etc. 
These are all things that make you feel good; they add value to your life and contribute to your wellbeing, self-esteem, confidence, pleasure, entertainment, and learning. You are grateful for these things.

What we don’t always think about is that for nearly every item or experience that we value, we had it sold to us and we bought it. 

You got sold by the beautiful design, the clever or funny messaging, the cool environment it was sold in, trusted the celebrity you saw using it, wanted the feeling you saw other people having when they used it, wanted the appearance that comes from owning it, or possibly even just liked the person who was selling it to you.

You got sold and you liked it; you had a great time, and you love the thing that was sold to you.

We buy in to a message, belief, benefit, or perception connected to that product or service and made the decision to give our money or time in exchange for that thing.

But in these instances, there’s a huge distinction for us: we didn’t FEEL like we got “sold” to. It felt natural. Buying it felt like we made the decision ourselves.

And if any person was involved in the process, it felt like they were just helping us along with the decision that we already made.

The best sales doesn’t feel like “Sales”. It feels natural.


Selling only gets a bad rap because of people who are bad at selling.

When someone with pure motives sells you something they believe will make your life better, it’s actually a wonderful experience.

Think about the products or services or experiences you’ve been more than excited to purchase. We are genuinely convinced that it will be good for us, and we can imagine ourselves using it and can see our life being so much better because of it. These are the things we convince ourselves, our spouses, or (when we were kids ) our parents, that we “need”. 

For example:

I have never felt bad buying a brand new Apple computer.
I know that it will help me work faster and better which leads to more income, I know that I can create more amazing designs with it, it will help me communicate more effectively, it will help me visualize my ideas and concepts on a new level... I can already see why and how it will make my more efficient and successful.

What we are subconsciously doing in these situations is SELLING – to ourselves or to others.

We lay out all the benefits, we pitch it with passion, we paint a vision of the bright future, and then we ASK FOR IT.

So, contrary to what you may believe about yourself:

You are actually VERY GOOD at selling. 

And you have been for a while.

If you don’t believe me, just look back at your 8-year-old self who convinced your parent to let you watch one more episode of your favorite show, have some extra dessert, or to let you spend another night at your friend’s house – especially after they had first said “No”.

I can still remember my parents saying, “All right, ONE more episode, then you can do your chores.", after my brother and I convinced them to let us watch Saturday morning cartoons just a little longer.

That, my friends, is a successful sale.

You can only sincerely sell something to someone else if you are sold on it yourself.

You have to believe in it, otherwise that doubt will seep into every corner of your business.

You were successful as a kid at getting what you want because you were fully convinced that what you wanted was the best thing for you. Of course, many of our motives as a child are selfish, but that’s not the point here. The point is that you need strong CONVICTION to sell successfully.

The key to good selling is being Authentic.

Here’s an excerpt from People Over Profit by Dale Partridge:

“Human beings have an uncanny ability to sniff out deception…
When we allow people to know us – personally, professionally, organizationally – we attract new followers and instill loyalty to those who we already have. But when we try to fake it, we create distrust.
'If we sense that a person or company is acting primarily out of self-interest – if they tell us something because they want something from us like a vote or a purchase, for example – then we raise an eyebrow, grow suspicious and keep our distance,’ says leadership guru Simon Sinek. “If they tell us something because they genuinely believe it and want to help us… then we actually respect and trust them more.’
Authenticity is the act of telling people what you believe and care about, not telling them what you think they want you to believe of care about."
People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.
— Simon Sinek

Sell Selflessly.

When you are selling, don’t try to sell, try to connect. Don’t focus on what you want, focus on what they want. Focus on what they care about, not what you care about.

When your friends or someone you know hears you talking them in a way that is completely different than how you normally talk (i.e.: When you have your “Sales Mode” on), it totally weirds them out and it subconsciously triggers their “Anti-Sales Instinct” to shut you down, no matter how well you know them or how much they like you.

It’s weird, but when selling, you have to put practice into sounding like your normal self.

Because selling puts you into a different context than you are used to, a context that you and others have a lot of preconceived notions about, you subconsciously adjust your voice, body language, and overall vibe according to whatever perception you have about sales.

As you reframe your perception of selling and get more comfortable having sales conversations the same way that you would normally talk to a friend, then you will gradually stop shifting into “Sales Mode” and will just stay in “You Mode”.

And when you’re in “You Mode”, that’s the person that people love, know, and trust; and that’s the person that people will buy something from.

What I want to help you understand is that sales is not inherently bad. It’s just a tool for communicating. And all tools are neutral; it’s how you use them that matters.

  • Comedy can make people laugh and feel connected to each other, or make someone feel self-conscious and like an outcast. 
  • A hammer can build a house or tear it down.
  • An airplane can transport people, or it can transport weapons.
  • A burrito can make you feel full and cozy, or it can send you to the bathroom and ruin your day. (LOL)

If you can practice and refine your ability to sell authentically, sell naturally, and sell selflessly, then you will make more money than you ever have, lead more people than you ever have, and enjoy your business more than you ever have.

Remember  These Keys To Successful Selling:

  • The Golden Rule: Sell to others the way you want to be sold to.
  • Remember that what you have to offer is valuable.
  • Good selling comes from both confidence in your product and confidence in yourself.
  • Remember: You don’t need anything from them, you want to give something to them. Separate your personal needs from the experience and focus on being selfless. 
  • Selling well puts your focus on other people before yourself. Even being self-conscious is self-centered. 
  • Great selling is rooted in serving, compassion, and a genuine interest in others.
  • Connecting with this person is more important than selling to them.

Sell Selflessly.

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