An Honest Encouragement To Stay The Course
Here is a raw journal entry from today. I'm sharing it with you because it's important to hear what the process is like while you're still in the thick of it, not just once you've reached the mountaintop.
I'm committed to never gold-plating my gritty times.
I hope it helps you find encouragement and helpful perspective to keep moving forward.
— Nathanael
Hey! I’ve got a free wallpaper set for you. Jump to the bottom to grab it.
I feel like I’m so limited on capacity right now
So I suppose that means I just need to prioritize.
There are SO many things I want to be able to work on right now:
Podcast
Blog posts
Email marketing
Product creation
My personal brand
Social media brand
Educational materials
Community building
Writing my second book
The list goes on
BUT I’m in a season where it’s really difficult to do that right now.
It’s not impossible to do more than I currently am, but I also need to acknowledge the reality of where I’m at and admit that maybe I can’t do everything I want to do right now because I’m already giving myself to a lot of things:
Fatherhood
Working to provide financially
Cooking
Cleaning
Supporting Shannon
Podcast
Trying to sleep
Mental, Emotional, Physical health
My relationship with my wife Shannon
The list goes on
And just because most of those aren’t business-related doesn’t make them any less of an accomplishment
In fact, because they are a higher priority, they are actually GREATER accomplishments.
When you can’t do everything you want to do, do what matters most.
Your capacity will grow and you will eventually be able to do more with time, but you have to be patient.
It’s OK to be in a naturally stressful and demanding season of life, and this one is definitely both of those.
We are barely sleeping.
It’s been months since our 13-month-old, Elliot, slept through the night. We’ve been jumping up to feed him 1-3 times a night and the rest of the night consists of crashing into oblivion or perking our ears up at every sound that might be the baby because we don’t want him to start crying and then throw up (which has happened a lot).
Our bodies need rest and are extremely fatigued.
Outside of playing with Elliot all the time (especially with Shannon being 26 weeks pregnant), that compounds with the lack of sleep/recovery time, and we feel like we’re wearing down. It’s physically taxing.
It’s also emotionally taxing.
Shannon is going through stuff with her pregnancy and relationships, and we are both feeling isolated from our community in this season, both family and friends. Life is busy and it feels so hard to line things up to be around people. Even going to church on Sundays feels like an ordeal, and that’s normally our weekly dose of social life.
Also, Shannon and I don’t get much time alone.
In the evenings we are toast in terms of our energy and mental capacity, and there’s a time clock on our sleep that doesn’t change because Elliot is going to wake up early regardless of if we go to sleep late or early.
We’ve maybe gotten one date a month because it’s been so hard to coordinate with busy family members and friends.
Our personal time currently consists of eating dinner after Elliot is asleep and sharing photos from the day, then maybe watching some videos or talking until bedtime.
We’re starved for quality alone time. Not just the scraps of whatever we have left at the end of the day.
I don’t get much time to be alone with myself.
That consists mostly of my walks in the morning and at night, when I pray and do affirmations, or maybe little pockets of time when I’m working like right now. I used to wake up early at like 5 or 6 am to write and journal and that’s where a lot of my blog posts and stuff came out of, but that’s become nearly impossible to plan because Elliot wakes up any time between 5:30 and 6:30 am. So waking up before him is nearly impossible right now, especially because we’re waking up multiple times through the night.
I have this longing to create.
To build Frontrunners into something that gives me more of the freedom I so desperately need RIGHT NOW, but it feels so hard to fit it in.
It feels so hard.
I think it’s a matter of really planning out my time and building it in little spurts of time, whether that’s 20 or 30min.
I can compound my efforts over time toward my goals.
But what I need is FOCUS and a PLAN, so that those little pieces are aimed toward a goal, versus just being scattered bits of work.
That’s what’s been hard for me: not having a focused plan that makes me feel like I’m chipping away at something, where I can see it getting smaller/closer over time.
If I could see that and TRACK it, then I could feel like each little step has significance.
A plan for launching my business objectives.
A plan for the next 6 months
A plan for showing up weekly and even daily
I wish I could afford a coach who could keep me accountable, cause it feels likes much to track.
I come up with all these great ideas and strategies, but carrying them out feels so hard once I get smacked by the unpredictable and inevitable responsibilities of life.
But I know it’s POSSIBLE, cause other people have done this!
I know that single moms with multiple children have done this. I know that people in way worse situations than me have done this, and so I know that I CAN DO THIS.
I can build Frontrunners into a successful business that supports my family and replaces my design income and gives me more freedom over my time while letting do what I’m most passionate about.
THAT EXISTS.
And that is available to me. And I am WORTHY of that. If all those people whose stories I’ve read can do it, then I can do it too.
I am NOT the exception to success.
My story can be a success story too. Because I freaking CHOOSE it.
I choose to believe that I’m worthy of changing my family destiny.
I choose to believe that I’m worthy of success.
I choose to believe that we don’t have to struggle, that we can THRIVE.
I choose to believe that I can lead people.
I choose to believe that I have a voice that people want to hear.
I choose to believe that my story matters.
I choose to believe that I have a tribe.
I choose to believe that I can build a multimillion-dollar business online.
I choose to believe that the knowledge and experience I have is valuable to other people.
I choose to believe that what I have is good enough.
I choose to believe that I have what it takes to go the distance.
The only other alternative is to believe that I’m not good enough and I don’t have what it takes, and that’s complete BULL.
The only other alternative is to accept what life gives me—to tolerate my circumstances
The only other alternative is to give up pushing after going this far.
The only other alternative is to settle for being less than what I know I’m capable of becoming.
But I can’t do that.
I refuse to settle for less.
I refuse to believe the lie that I’m too busy or that my situation is unique.
I refuse to believe that I’m too overloaded.
I refuse to play it small.
I refuse to accept the lie that I’m not good enough.
I believe that I can rise to the challenge and get the clarity and direction that I need to take the actions I need to take that will get me to where I need to be.
I choose to believe that I can become greater than I am today.
I choose to believe that I can do this.
I freaking choose it.
My situation and circumstances don’t dictate my trajectory, my mindset and beliefs dictate my trajectory.
There are plenty reasons out there why it’s too hard, too big, too scary, too difficult, too expensive, too demanding…
I choose to believe the voice that says I CAN and I WILL.
I choose to believe that the vision I have inside of me is there for a reason. And that I can HAVE it.
I choose to believe that I can reach the picture of the future that I see in my heart and then GO BEYOND it to the next level.
I choose to believe that I am not capped. I am not stuck. I am not paralyzed. I am not crippled. I am not weak.
I am strong. I am capable. I am bold. I am driven. I can do this.
I can DO THIS.
My dreams are not just dreams, they are a purpose that PULLS me forward.
They are not just for me. They are for my family.
They are for the thousands of lives I will reach. They are for their families.
They are for people I will never meet who hear my story and are touched on a deep level, who begin to believe that they can change their destiny.
I’m going to get there.
It’s not a matter of IF, but just a matter of WHEN.
Stay the course.
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